Eat Less And Exercise More, You Idiot

Hey, guys. What I'm about to say is going to be annoying, but if I don't address it, I might punch someone in the face. I don't want that, you don't want that (you very much want that). Can you even punch the internet in the face? Anyway, it's sort of amazing to me that you can take the most liberal, "accepting" bunch of people and bring up the obesity epidemic with them, and all this hate comes spilling out. That's why I usually avoid reading stuff about weight when it can't be handled in a mature way (even my favorite sites can be assholes), but yet, I still read Gawker today when it addressed a new movement for fat acceptance.

Here's the quote from the New York Times article that got things going:

This movement - a loose alliance of therapists, scientists and others - holds that all people, "even" fat people, can eat whatever they want and, in the process, improve their physical and mental health and stabilize their weight. The aim is to behave as if you have reached your "goal weight" and to act on ambitions postponed while trying to become thin, everything from buying new clothes to changing careers. Regular exercise should be for fun, not for slimming.

Jezebel obviously handled the issue in a positive way, but I still felt the need to get pissed over this Gawker writer's assessment: "Yes, it's perfectly okay for people to engorge themselves silly every day as long as they can trick themselves into believing that their bloated bodies are 'normal.' So very painfully modern, no?"

Why does everything have to turn into a body judgment? This isn't about accepting bodies so that people can become more unhealthy; acceptance should lead to a healthier mentality which is the only way people can lose weight and make positive steps. Why is this so hard to understand? Why is it that people who have been thin all their lives think they are experts on psychology and weight loss? Can't we talk about this in a reasoned way without the fucking value judgments that don't further the discussion? Obesity and eating disorders are the same national issue, and it all has to do with how we talk about bodies. Shame and discrimination are certainly not helping things. If we could couple education about health with a lack of judgment, we could definitely turn the epidemic around. But people would hate giving up their right to being self-righteous assholes, so that will never happen. When I made a comment with my opinion (which included nothing about my own body or issues, by the way), this is what I got:

I think taking responsibility for oneself goes further than trying to make society accept stuff it doesn't want to accept. If you want to accept your fatness, then go right ahead. But that doesn't mean I'm going to.

I'm not going to accept a lot of things I don't like about other people and that's my perogative. Whether it's their conservative political views or their tendency to wear Crocs. If I accepted everyone, oh the raggedy group of friends I would have!

AND these fatties always squeeze me on the subway and buses. They see I'm not quite taking up my whole seat so they squeeze in beside me. And I can't breathe. When that stops happening on a daily basis maybe I'll be in a better mood. I don't need them with more power than they already have. The power of suffocating me. Enough is enough.

How educational! And:

Ummmm, the obese people are adults (I won't get into the children, who of course are fed by adults). What part of "eat fewer calories, get off the couch" needs to be "taught"? It's like cigarettes - you know the dangers. If you smoke 'em anyway, the ramifications are clear. Just like if you eat junk food, in large quantities, and live a completely sedentary life, the ramifications are clear. Are you telling me that the explosion in obesity from 1980 is a collective loss of intelligence and/or knowledge?

I'm fat because I eat junk food and don't move from the couch! Duh! Alcoholics can't stop drinking because they love the taste of alcohol, and people with depression are just bumming me out. How can people be so ignorant to human nature and, not to mention, society's impact on choice. So we've tried the public shaming of fat people for a couple generations; maybe we should see if a more positive approach works. There was just a study out about how children are aware of being treated differently when they're overweight, and how this causes depression. Even their teachers treat them differently; the teachers are more likely to assume chubby (or even, ALMOST chubby) girls are stupid and lazy. (The boys are less likely to be discriminated against by teachers but still develop feelings of depression/anxiety/loneliness based on peer relationships.) Depressed, overweight children are going to turn into depressed, obese adults. OR depressed, overweight children are going to develop eating disorders, or other addictive/negative behaviors.

It's off to me that people like Meme Roth can go on TV and make rude commentary about people who struggle with their weight, yet remain completely unaware of their own eating issues. That makes it more obvious that this is ALL of our issue. I've written before about my struggles with weight, and many of you had dealt with the same things, even if we were never similar sizes. Not being a scientist/psychologist, I can still say that people don't want to go to the gym when they feel like others are judging their bodies. People don't want to get healthy when they feel worthless. People don't want to feel good about themselves when they're told they don't deserve to from a young age.

It's easiest for me to be healthy when I'm in a healthy state of mind. This past week, I was feeling crappy about my body and myself, and I made some really bad choices around food. I shouldn't even have to explain that self-punishment is the same no matter the addictive behavior; these issues are really complicated. I don't think this makes me a bad person, or a weak-willed person. I still got up on Monday, started over, and went for a run with Anne. But I wouldn't have been able to if I had believed those things about myself that those asshole commenters want me to believe. No matter the mistakes I make around the issue of my weight, I shouldn't have to believe that these are connected to my value as a person; accepting myself, no matter my size on any given day, is the only way to get to where I want to go. This should be a no-brainer but I guess people are really attached to their hate.

There's this weird need for some people who are thin (not healthy per se, but thin) to give their opinion on the health and "grossness" (cross-language pun!) of others based purely on physical appearance. I had a friend who actually made a point to look at my grocery store receipt (or something similar) and comment that I should be eating more fruits and vegetables. And our building maintenance guy made a point to tell me that if I ran every day, I would definitely lose weight. Never mind that I didn't say anything about desiring to lose weight. When I discuss the (very long) process of losing weight with family and friends, it almost always becomes a laundry list of "helpful" tips and tricks when my goal is about health (yet I'm the one who needs help...?). Everyone's a goddamn expert on overweight people's choices and bodies.

On top of hearing all the time how fat is ugly, we are inundated with messages about our choices being so much more connected to our value than the regular Joe. I can't have McDonald's on occasion because I'm fat and that's unhealthy, but someone who is thin can eat whatever they want; so then health wasn't anyone's main concern then. Then there's this weird need to justify myself; I eat healthy; I exercise 3-5 times a week. And I try my very best to maintain a healthy attitude about my body despite the media and everyone around me making me feel wrong. So you tell me: if I'm trying to accept myself and no one else is, is this helping or hurting?

(By the way, the photo above is from a site called Operation Beautiful. I tried to find a picture of a well-known overweight [body-loving] actress but that's a lot harder than one would think. From the website: "The mission of Operation Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find.")